Friday, August 25, 2006

Behind the Mona Lisa's Smile

Saw the re-run on WE channel last night/early this morning. It made me think about how we make the right decisions for ourselves. I'm not just talking about big, life-changing decisions; this also concerns the little ones that we make every day. Should I become a doctor? Or should I be a secretary? Should I eat hamburger, fries and shake, or should I stick to salads to lose weight? What would people think of me? What is better for me in the long run? What is everybody else doing? What do I want?

Trying to make the right decision is such a headache. Who says we need to make the right one? Just make one, right? But I hate being wrong or looking stupid or having people pity me. Me and my stupid pride. Sometimes, it'd be easier to make decisions based on what I want. But I know from experience that what I want at that moment doesn't mean I'll still want it in the next moment. What makes it harder is that some moments are instantaneous and some last years. I want permanence; yet, at times, I crave to have the opposite.

Am I changing, have I been changing? Or have I been standing still in one place for a long, long time?

How much to sacrifice and how much to keep? Give and take, teach and learn, catabolism and anabolism. C'est la vie.

Let's see where life takes me.

I have this memory of my grandmother trying to read my palm but it confused her so. She didn't know what to make of it.

I just really, really, really don't want to end up as a bum on the street or living in a trailer park.

1 comment:

... said...

A) you've changed. all for the better. i like you more than ever before. not that i hated you before or anything (of course not!!).

B) you'd never be a bum on the street cuz i'd force your ass to live at my house. so there!